United in Vision and Purpose. Amen !
Less than two weeks to Hillsong Conference. Excited!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
For the Audience of One .. Lessons from Worship
On Sunday I was on-duty to do back-up singing in church. For those who are unfamilliar with my experience with the Praise and Worship Ministry (PnW), I absolutely love it and have great passion for it, but it is also a source of constant struggle. I told a friend once that the struggle with running CCM when I was president is nothing compared to the struggle I face in the worship ministry. At times I hit so many setbacks (that it isn't funny.. haha) and that all I can do at times is to look to God and trust Him with this ministry.
Yet even though all this struggles, God has thought me great lessons, one of them being 'In my (Marcus) weakness I will glorify Him (God)'. And that has always been of such great assurance as I know that even if I can't sing the line 'There's a light in the darkness that shines....' right in front of an audience of 150 people ++, yet in my weakness I still glorify God, and truly, at the end of the day my worship really counts for the audience of One, God.
So on Sunday, I had some solo lines in the song 'To the ends of the earth'. As usual, I truly take this opportunity to improve my vocals but above all my confidence. Yet I was scared .. haha... i spent time with Lemuel (hopefully we didn't wake the neighbours up..:) ) practicing the lines the night before..
Yet on the day itself, I was still jittery, and as i was jt reflecting on the lines i was supposed to sing solo, I tot it was ironic that i was so fearful when part of the lines I was supposed to sing was 'Finding peace again, fear is lost in all You are' .. hahaha....There and then, i committed the whole thing unto the Lord. And I told God, 'I'll do my best, and You do the rest, for today, this worship is for the Audience of One, You!' (paraphrased)
The whole PnW session on Sunday went really well. Though we didn't have much time to practice (like really short), yet God moved and the rest they say is history.
And yes, I can't end this post by saying that i sang those solo lines and ppl started crying.. haha.. In actual fact I didn't sing it at all in the end as Pastor Wen An focused on singin the chorus in the end. Yet the lesson I learnt that day was you could say priceless..
I believe God will one day use me mightly in praise and worship. But for now my job is to believe. and trust. and hope.
In an unfailling God.
Yet even though all this struggles, God has thought me great lessons, one of them being 'In my (Marcus) weakness I will glorify Him (God)'. And that has always been of such great assurance as I know that even if I can't sing the line 'There's a light in the darkness that shines....' right in front of an audience of 150 people ++, yet in my weakness I still glorify God, and truly, at the end of the day my worship really counts for the audience of One, God.
So on Sunday, I had some solo lines in the song 'To the ends of the earth'. As usual, I truly take this opportunity to improve my vocals but above all my confidence. Yet I was scared .. haha... i spent time with Lemuel (hopefully we didn't wake the neighbours up..:) ) practicing the lines the night before..
Yet on the day itself, I was still jittery, and as i was jt reflecting on the lines i was supposed to sing solo, I tot it was ironic that i was so fearful when part of the lines I was supposed to sing was 'Finding peace again, fear is lost in all You are' .. hahaha....There and then, i committed the whole thing unto the Lord. And I told God, 'I'll do my best, and You do the rest, for today, this worship is for the Audience of One, You!' (paraphrased)
The whole PnW session on Sunday went really well. Though we didn't have much time to practice (like really short), yet God moved and the rest they say is history.
And yes, I can't end this post by saying that i sang those solo lines and ppl started crying.. haha.. In actual fact I didn't sing it at all in the end as Pastor Wen An focused on singin the chorus in the end. Yet the lesson I learnt that day was you could say priceless..
I believe God will one day use me mightly in praise and worship. But for now my job is to believe. and trust. and hope.
In an unfailling God.
PS: The picture is a graphical representation of the title. It is not the actual PnW session itself. (though one day I hope every Sunday will be like that!)
Friday, June 15, 2007
Circumstance versus perspective
Last Sat I remember I was feeling really low about the whole job search and all that. Nothing seemed to be progressing and I was starting to get disheartened over the whole job thingy. I was like God!! ... I need to find a job soon.. That with other problems made me feel really crappy throughout the weekend.
On Sunday, after church, I came back at night and came to the conclusion that I could either continue to wallow in self-pity and feel crappy or I could do something to change it. Since no one was home yet, I decided to have an impromtu praise and worship session, backed up by my own guitar playing!!!.... kidding... haha.. by the computer more like it ....
But as I was jt praising and worshipping the Lord, I felt God challenging me to give Him glory despite my circumstance. I was like.... You serious God? Yeah, I know that's like the Biblical thing to do and all that, but now? I had been feeling low for most of the week dee...
Yet I felt God challenging me to worship him despite my circumstance. That we are to worship him not through our circumstance (which we can't control) but through our perspective (which we can control and change). It was a classic case of mind over matter. Though I know it like the Bible says so and so, but here now was a chance, an opportunity to put it into perspective...
So yeah, has my circumstances changed? ( I am still unemployed professionally as i write this)
but my perspective has definitely changed.
And that counts.
On Sunday, after church, I came back at night and came to the conclusion that I could either continue to wallow in self-pity and feel crappy or I could do something to change it. Since no one was home yet, I decided to have an impromtu praise and worship session, backed up by my own guitar playing!!!.... kidding... haha.. by the computer more like it ....
But as I was jt praising and worshipping the Lord, I felt God challenging me to give Him glory despite my circumstance. I was like.... You serious God? Yeah, I know that's like the Biblical thing to do and all that, but now? I had been feeling low for most of the week dee...
Yet I felt God challenging me to worship him despite my circumstance. That we are to worship him not through our circumstance (which we can't control) but through our perspective (which we can control and change). It was a classic case of mind over matter. Though I know it like the Bible says so and so, but here now was a chance, an opportunity to put it into perspective...
So yeah, has my circumstances changed? ( I am still unemployed professionally as i write this)
but my perspective has definitely changed.
And that counts.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Great testimonies are borne out of Great trials
For the past week or so I was quite in a quandry as I was finding it difficult to find a job. I was getting quite discouraged over the whole job search. With other things happening in my life, you could say I was at a low point.During Sunday service, I was telling God how tired I was, mentally and to a certain extent spiritually too. Even when I tried to bless others, I felt tired and weary over it, and I had an impression that my 'well' was getting dry and God was telling me to refresh in Him. Refresh.
When I got back from dinner on Sunday, I told myself I would not dwell in the dumps anymore. I was going back to the source of energy, of comfort, of rest. To revitalize.I just chose all the songs that really brought glory to God, like 'Awesome God', 'King of Majesty' and so on. Then I just took my room as a stage for God, and I was singing to one audience, God (Thankfully all my housemates were in uni studying, I spared them the horror of listening to me sing, pray and also shout.scream..haha)
As I sang, I really felt my spirits lifted. And the soft voice of God whisper to me 'Let your job be a testament of my Grace'. I was so lifted! Truly!With every great testimony that we hear, there is always the beginning, the climax (where there is no hope to be seen) and then the finale, where all ends well. Great testimonies are borne out of great trial.Am I going through a great trial and testing? I guess I am. Yet will it be worth it! I pray that when this whole saga ends, I will have testimony that is worth it's weight in gold. So that others may be blessed when they hear my story.
Has my circumstance changed? Not one bit. Has my perspective changed. Definitely.
To believe that my Father in heaven has my best interest at heart.
When I got back from dinner on Sunday, I told myself I would not dwell in the dumps anymore. I was going back to the source of energy, of comfort, of rest. To revitalize.I just chose all the songs that really brought glory to God, like 'Awesome God', 'King of Majesty' and so on. Then I just took my room as a stage for God, and I was singing to one audience, God (Thankfully all my housemates were in uni studying, I spared them the horror of listening to me sing, pray and also shout.scream..haha)
As I sang, I really felt my spirits lifted. And the soft voice of God whisper to me 'Let your job be a testament of my Grace'. I was so lifted! Truly!With every great testimony that we hear, there is always the beginning, the climax (where there is no hope to be seen) and then the finale, where all ends well. Great testimonies are borne out of great trial.Am I going through a great trial and testing? I guess I am. Yet will it be worth it! I pray that when this whole saga ends, I will have testimony that is worth it's weight in gold. So that others may be blessed when they hear my story.
Has my circumstance changed? Not one bit. Has my perspective changed. Definitely.
To believe that my Father in heaven has my best interest at heart.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Feelings and Truth
Love Saturday nights. That's usually when I get to chill out and watch up and coming movies in the cinemas with my friends. I was looking forward to a cool night out with no dramas but I guess it was one of those nights where I had a choice to choose. To choose between my emotions.
The night before I was reading this devotional which talked about feelings, and how more often than not feelings are not aligned with truth. Feelings are definitely useful to us homosapiens ie humans but they do not define the truth. In the devotional it talked about how we may feel worthless, but in fact we are NOT worthless as the Bible clearly states that. And that is so true. More often than not I have to remind myself of this. I have this 'moments' when I feel like I'm useless, that everyone is better than me and am I really called to serve God in this area, that area and all that. And often it is only by the Word of God that I can reconcile my feelings with the truth. I love this verse is Pslams 139: 13-14 'For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.' And yes, I have to force myself to believe the truth of God instead of the lies of the devil. Is it easy? No!!! But by God's grace, when I reconcile my feelings with the truth, the lies, low self-esteem disappear.
And back to the cinema, while I was watching Shrek I realised that my wallet was missing. And my heart missed a heartbeat. I was mentally calculating how much money I would lose. And now was not the good time to lose money. I looked around my seat but couldn't find the wallet. And then I had a choice. I could either panic and worry and spoil the whole movie for myself (which was really good by the way) or I could trust God that my wallet was safe. I suspected that the wallet might have fallen somewhere to the seats on my right, but strangers were seating there, and I could not interrupt them midway to look for my wallet. Best as I could, I told God that I have been in similar situations and God has helped me, so why not trust God now. I ended up enjoying like 80% of the movie, with 20% intermittenly thinking about the wallet.
When the movie ended, I quickly got up to look for my wallet, and lo and behold it was there. I thank God for taking care of my wallet, yet the more important lesson I learnt was to trust God in the midst of the situation and to choose to trust. If I had worried, I would ultimately still find my wallet, but I would lose out on enjoying the movie. Or I could trust God, enjoy the movie and still find my wallet! Win-Win situation :)
God is Good.
PS: Cool quote from CS Lewis ' If you don't love someone, behave as if you do, and your feelings will catch up'
The night before I was reading this devotional which talked about feelings, and how more often than not feelings are not aligned with truth. Feelings are definitely useful to us homosapiens ie humans but they do not define the truth. In the devotional it talked about how we may feel worthless, but in fact we are NOT worthless as the Bible clearly states that. And that is so true. More often than not I have to remind myself of this. I have this 'moments' when I feel like I'm useless, that everyone is better than me and am I really called to serve God in this area, that area and all that. And often it is only by the Word of God that I can reconcile my feelings with the truth. I love this verse is Pslams 139: 13-14 'For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.' And yes, I have to force myself to believe the truth of God instead of the lies of the devil. Is it easy? No!!! But by God's grace, when I reconcile my feelings with the truth, the lies, low self-esteem disappear.
And back to the cinema, while I was watching Shrek I realised that my wallet was missing. And my heart missed a heartbeat. I was mentally calculating how much money I would lose. And now was not the good time to lose money. I looked around my seat but couldn't find the wallet. And then I had a choice. I could either panic and worry and spoil the whole movie for myself (which was really good by the way) or I could trust God that my wallet was safe. I suspected that the wallet might have fallen somewhere to the seats on my right, but strangers were seating there, and I could not interrupt them midway to look for my wallet. Best as I could, I told God that I have been in similar situations and God has helped me, so why not trust God now. I ended up enjoying like 80% of the movie, with 20% intermittenly thinking about the wallet.
When the movie ended, I quickly got up to look for my wallet, and lo and behold it was there. I thank God for taking care of my wallet, yet the more important lesson I learnt was to trust God in the midst of the situation and to choose to trust. If I had worried, I would ultimately still find my wallet, but I would lose out on enjoying the movie. Or I could trust God, enjoy the movie and still find my wallet! Win-Win situation :)
God is Good.
PS: Cool quote from CS Lewis ' If you don't love someone, behave as if you do, and your feelings will catch up'
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Oxymoron - Reflections/Sang
Ok, so we have it at last, I have decided to write a blog. I think the world has been like writing blogs forever, but recently I have felt it in my heart to start a blog too. It all started as an epiphany one morning, and thus has come to realisation. But we shall go to that later.
How did I come about with the title? I guess to me the title IS an oxymoron. Examples according to wikipedia are like 'Pretty Ugly' and 'Questionable Answer'. People who know me well and those who don't know me well but still have ears will realise that I am a sanguine
, and quite a strong one at that. And reflecting is not exactly a strong characteristic of a sanguine. And yet as I have grown in the Lord, I find myself reflecting on life more. The ups and downs, and the occasionaly giant drop. And I want to pen it down.
Therefore, here we have it, Reflections of A Sang.
How did I come about with the title? I guess to me the title IS an oxymoron. Examples according to wikipedia are like 'Pretty Ugly' and 'Questionable Answer'. People who know me well and those who don't know me well but still have ears will realise that I am a sanguine
, and quite a strong one at that. And reflecting is not exactly a strong characteristic of a sanguine. And yet as I have grown in the Lord, I find myself reflecting on life more. The ups and downs, and the occasionaly giant drop. And I want to pen it down.
Therefore, here we have it, Reflections of A Sang.
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